Christmas Fun


“Who is this?” the boy asked, wondering who could be knocking at the door so late in the night.

“It’s Santa! Santa Claus! I’m here to deliver the presents.”

The boy froze. Chills going through his back while being so amazed, but he couldn’t move one bit. He managed to gather his thoughts quickly and with a shivering voice he asked:

“But, weren’t you supposed to come in through the chimney?”
From the other side of the door the boy could hear a deep groan, and then, after a hollow cough, the supposed Santa spoke again:

“Well, my boy, Santa’s not feeling so well. Recently, I developed arthritis, so I can’t just fly along and jump through every chimney I see. My days as a sporty Santa are over. Now I have to go door to door to deliver every present, though I don’t like it a bit.”

“But how do I know you’re really Santa? He is never supposed to be ill…”

Another groan was heard and then Santa, trying to keep his calm, replied once more:

“Well, I know for a fact that this Christmas you want as a present a red bicycle. Am I right?”

The boy was shocked. Indeed that was the present he wanted. There was no doubt in his mind now that the man he was speaking to was really Santa. He slowly turned the door bolt and gently opened the door, trying not to make to much noise.

Before him stood now Santa. A tall, white bearded man, with the obvious white hair, leaning against the door case. The red suit was completing the picture, but something was not right about him, as the boy noticed. Still, he decided to invite him in. Santa said thank you and then strolled through the apartment hallway, heading to the living room, where the Christmas tree was placed.

Looking at him walking, the boy noticed that he was limping, and his suit was a mess. He was holding his pants with his hands, as the belt had been torn in two pieces. His ragged jacket had it’s buttons ripped off and was covered with mud on the right side.

Santa made his way slowly to the nearest armchair he could find. Almost falling in it than sitting in it, he groaned once more. From the inside pocked of his jacket he took out a damp cloth and with a slow move he wiped off the sweat that was pouring from his forehead.

The boy sat on a sofa next to him, and after spending a few moments looking at this weird Santa, he asked:

“Well, now that you are here, and I spent all night waiting for you, I think you should give me my present as you promised.”

Even before Santa gave him an answer, another tap on the door was heard. The boy looked at the door, then stood up and, as he was heading for the entrance again, he could see Santa’ face turn white, while he slowly mumbled “No, no…don’t go…”

“Hmm, this Santa seems pretty messed up” the boy said to himself. “Probably he’s just tired after delivering all those presents, and with his arthritis and all…”

He asked once again who was behind the door. The answer was the same: “Santa.” Surprised, the boy asked him also about his present: “A red bicycle.”

“Lucky me.” he thought. “I just might get two presents this year!” He opened the door and this time there were two men standing at his doorstep: the first one also resembled Santa, but properly dressed, and the other one didn’t seem familiar.

“Good evening George!” said the first man. “My name is Santa Claus, as you sure must know.” He then pointed at the man standing next to him: “This is my associate, Saint Nicholas.” The man called so tipped his hat as a form of salute, then the first one asked:  “I have a question for you, before giving you your deserved present”.

The boy’s face glittered with joy, inviting the two men inside.

“So” the first man said “Did you happen to see someone dressed the same as me, with a funny walk and pretending to be Santa Claus? I saw him walking up this floor of the building.”

The boy didn’t know what to say, but the man he was speaking to seemed to be more of a Santa than the first one who had arrived.

“Yes, I did. He’s actually sitting in a chair in my living room.”

After hearing that, the two men pushed the boy aside and rushed in the apartment. They didn’t even ask where the living room was, as if they knew the plan of the building. The boy followed them as fast as he could, curious about what was going to happen.

As the two men entered the living room, the first Santa stood up from his chair and tried to run, but he did not stand a chance, since the room didn’t have any other exits.

They stood in front of him, waiting for him to say something. But he did not. Instead, he could only mumble a “Damnit!” as he realized he was trapped.

“So, Easter Rabbit, are you trying to put me out of business?” the real Santa said.

“Come on now, Chris!” he responded “You know we do this every year. I’m just having a little fun here…”

“Well you’re fun is over. I’m sick and tired of chasing you every Christmas and clean up the mess you leave behind. This Christmas I bought myself a gun.”

The Santa impostor froze again, his face once more white as a ghost’s.

“Come on now, you’re not serious. It’s all about having fun here. I mean no harm, you know it!”

“I don’t care about your fun anymore. This time it’s serious, dead serious!”

He reached inside his jacket and pulled out a pistol, already set with a silencer. He pointed it to the Easter Rabbit’s head and one shot was enough to bring him down. Then he turned around and looked at the boy. He was shaking with fear, barely standing up, as he watched Santa’s revenge on the Rabbit.

“I promised you a bicycle.” Santa said. “You will find it in your room, next to your bed. I also have a present for your dad.” He reached in his pocket and took out a set of keys. He then gently placed them in the hand of the boy, and as him and Nicholas were leaving the apartment, he said to the boy:

“See you next year! Hope your dad will like his brand new Chevy.”